"Can You get me any cocaine, can you get me any beer?
You see my driver's license, says I don't belong in here
Can you get me whiskey, can you get me any pills?
Girl as soon as we can get lost, I'm pretty sure that I will

Well it's hard to feel shame if you have none at all
I think to myself and I try to recall
what happened that night uptown in that city
where sleep is a waste and truth is quite petty

It's true I was stopped by an old blue and white
He thought I was drunk man, but he wasn't quite right
He waved his two fingers, made me walk the line
Then he say's son "l guess I let you off this time"

I turn to my car he say's "wait a minute
I ain't quite done here with my business
you still broke the law son - drunk, stoned or sober
And I gotta ask you before you go home"

"Are you holdin' any cocaine, drinking any beer?
I see your driver's license says you don't belong round here
Why'd you make that left turn?"

Man, I thought I was right! Stoppin' off at my girlfriend's
headed home to my wife.

"Are you drinkin whiskey poppin any pills?"

Man as soon as I can get gone I'm pretty sure that I will!

So I turned up the street and went on my way
Crawled into bed with the wife where she lay
And I thought to not wake her, yeah I tried to be quiet
But my stumblin' and bumblin was done for a riot

But then she woke up, yelled "what's the point!?"
So I tried to console her and rolled her a joint
She knew I'd been trouble, I'm always misfit
And she likes it that way, I guess cus she asks me

"Did you bring me any cocaine did you bring me any beer
Why am I the only one sittin sober around here
Did you bring me whiskey did you bring me any pills?"
Girl if I can go back out I'm pretty sure that I will